CM PRESS # 437

MORE ON THE GREAT COSTA MESA HELICOPTER AND TEQUILA BANDITO CAPER
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Gather around boys and girls because this is the tale of the great Costa Mesa Helicopter and Tequila Bandito caper.

Now, before we tell the tale, you should have some idea of what the helicopter costs the citizens of Costa Mesa per hour.  It kind of puts things in perspective.

The figure we have is $ 1,800 per hour.  At least that's apparently what we charge when we outsource our whirly bird when we send it to be the stink eye in the sky with our cops looking down and making faces at pistoleros and other bad types in other cities. 

Now, to our story.  The other day a guy with less than gourmet tastes in booze goes into the Rite Aid drug store on Harbor Blvd and slips a bottle of drug store Tequila into his pants and walks out the door  probably whistling and looking at the ceiling, all innocent like.

But, aha, a sharp eyed security guard is on to him and confronts the sticky fingered guy and asks what he has in his pants. Well, lacking a clever come back and figuring the jig is up, the crook gives the guard the booze, jumps into his car and exits the parking lot.

Darn bad luck though, because the bad guy apparently forgets that his car has a licence plate (maybe, even two) and, geez, looking in the rear view mirror he probably sees the Tequila bottle holding security guy writing down that very same license plate number that is on this very getaway car.

Eventually, a Costa Mesa cop car shows up at the location of the heist.  The Tequila bottle holding security guy  then gives the cops in the car the license plate number of the desparado's car. They run the number.  Lo and behold, the address isn't too far away. So the cops proceed to the location where they find the car parked in the driveway of the address that came up on their computer and they arrest the guy.

End of story?  Not quite. You see, there are those trying to save the expensive helicopter program,  and the helicopter also responded to the Tequila heist call and the cops in the sky looked down and they also saw the car parked in that particular driveway. "Oooo, we saw it first. We saw it first."

So, who gets credit for the collar?  Why the cops in the helicopter.  Then, this information is sent to the press where it is published so the citizens of Costa Mesa can nudge each other and say, "Golly, that helicopter sure is a darn good thing to have. Shoot, it only cost us $ 1,800 to nab the bad guy who tried to snatch the $ 5 buck bottle of hooch."

And, to those who say the helicopter wasn't needed because the cops on the ground had the situation covered, why you just tell them that they must be helicopter haters or somethin'.
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WHITE HATING BLACK WOMAN GOES ON ANTI-WHITE RACIST RANT ON SUBWAY
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Will she be charged with a hate crime?  Of course not.  Once again, you know why.
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WHY IS THERE NO LOOTING IN JAPAN?
Link to PC column that dodges the issue.  Can you figure out why there is no looting in Japan?  We know the answer.  Here's a clue: Genes are us.
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VERMICULTURE
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What happens to all the grass clippings and such from Costa Mesa's parks?  They're thrown away.

Given all the green talk we're hearing these days, we're surprised that no one has suggested that the City work out a public/private partnership to start a large vermiculture enterprise.

Such an enterprise could be structured many ways.  One way would be to let a private company run the thing and let any money received from private sales be theirs while compensating the City by supplying a given amount of casting material each year to be used by the City.
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COSTA MESA NO-PLANNING COMMISSION MEETING TONIGHT
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We think the City Council may need to make some changes to this commission for the long game.
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