Thursday, November 1, 2007

CM PRESS # 230

WELCOME TO FAIRVIEW PARK--ALSO KNOWN AS TELETUBBYLAND IN COSTA MESA

We imagine:

Those who want to "plan" Fairview Park have succeeded.

Now, the real grass has been replaced with artificial turf. Real flowers are now plastic. All the trails are paved. A dome has been put over the park to keep it at a constant temperature and to filter out the sun's rays and stop the rain. All insects have been removed.

Underground water pipes feed a concrete pond lined with plastic, and there's an artificial rock waterfall. Plastic, motorized ducks swim around the pond.

In the artificial trees there are hidden speakers making the sounds of chirping birds.

Over here are six soccer fields. Over there is a baseball field. There's also a softball field. In this section is a huge skateboard facility. Over in this other section is a parking lot to accommodate a thousand cars. There are restrooms and drinking fountains scattered everywhere. Everything is exactly where it should be according to the plan. Nothing is out of place. Every inch of the park is now perfect.

Trash thrown into the ubiquitous trash cans falls into service tunnels beneath the park, where it can be removed by tunnel dwelling city workers who perform all the necessary maintenance functions of the park from down below when possible, and who monitor the park with cameras hidden throughout the park.

The whole park is ADA approved so people in wheelchairs can enjoy nature and roll right up to the plastic flowers.

Genuine nature is so messy and so unplanned. Thanks to the Costa Mesa City Council, everything in Fairview Park has been fully planned down to the smallest detail so you can enjoy nature as comfortably as though you're sitting in your living room watching TV.
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Those are our opinions. Thanks for reading them.


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